We had a sharing time in primary today about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy, and we talked about writing in our journals. I've not been very good at this, but thought I should write a little. Bree is now 2 months old and I can't hardly believe it. It has been a very hard adjustment to having 3 kids. I have really been struggling to keep sane and patient. My recovery took a lot longer this time, maybe because it was my third time giving birth, or maybe because i'm older now. Don't know all the reasons, but it took me close to 4-6 weeks to feel well enough to get out of the house. Lizzy and Caleb have been so helpful and loving with Bree, but it has been very waring on me to have to watch Caleb so closely with Bree. He is a little to rough with her and it is so frustrating to constantly tell him to be soft, stop kissing, be nice.... Lizzy just begs and begs to burp her or hold her and then after like 1 minute, is done. It just all takes so much energy, which i don't have. We moved Bree out of our bedroom at about 6 and a half weeks and she has started sleeping about 9 to 5:30am, which has helped out a lot with how I feel and my ability to have patience, however its still hard to get up that early, and then by the time I get back to bed, then the kids get up at 6:30 or 7am. So still have to figure it out and how to keep it all together. Somedays I feel like I can do the three kid thing, but so far most days leave me pretty beat up. Life is all about learning and having faith, so we move forward, but man, having little kids is a lot harder than I ever imagined. But like I told my kids tonight, I couldn't imagine my life without any of them, so I'm so grateful for each of them and how great they are. So, I'll end with some positives of each: Caleb is so thoughtful and almost always says Thank you. If we go somewhere, He will say, "Thank you for taking me here." He also loves to compliment others, usually on their shoes or earrings. He'll say "I like your shoes."

Lizzy is super creative. She loves to do crafts and projects. Every morning while I'm still in bed, she will make something. Lately she has made a laptop computer out of tin foil, A broom and dust pan with paper and spaghetti noodles for the broom bristles, she loves doing pop ups with paper, like a jack in the box or she made a picture with a temple and costco buildings that stand up. She made shakers and a drum, lots of drawings, she made a weekly report for me saying I'm a good mom and I'm loving and nice, and she took sea shells and taped them together to say I love you. She really can be such a sweetheart and I sure love that side of her. She also had a friend over yesterday to play and she always allows Caleb to tag along and play too. She doesn't complain, but just lets him play with her and her friends. It just shows me how much she does like to play with him and thinks of him as her friend. She says the sweetest prayers and is always so anxious to say the prayer and thank her Heavenly Father for the beautiful day she has had.

Finally Aubree has just been my angel baby. She has been happy, a great sleeper and good eater. She is starting to smile and it just makes us all smile. We are so excited to see her grow and a tad sad that it is happening so fast already, but such is life.

Year End

Wow It is so hard to comprehend how fast time flies, A couple months ago I was so amazed that the Christmas season was here, and now in the blink of an eye it is gone.Today is December 30th. Looking back this has probably been the hardest year of my life, (that I can remember at least) I have been tried and stretched more than I thought possible at times, but I am still here and actually wanting to write tonight because of how sweet my kids were tonight and how good they made me feel. As I put them to bed they both separately said they wanted to tell me 2 things. (A tradition Caleb has started, He says every night,"I tell you 2 things" (or 3 or 4) So Lizzy said, I love you, and you are the nicest mommy ever. Then I went to tuck Caleb in and he said, I love you so much and I love my family. Just melted my heart to hear them share their love.

Back to the year in quick review, The first 6 months were kept busy with pregnancy, speech classes for Caleb and even a fun babymoon trip to Newport Beach with CJ and I in March. And a fun trip to see my parents at their new home in Greeley Hills, Ca. We had lots of fun, but my pregnancy left me with lots of aches and pains this time around that were tough to live with and enjoy times with family. Then at the end of June, Aubree joined our family and of course we all fell in love with her instantly. It is the best to see Lizzy and Caleb ooh and ahh over her and still to this day, say things like, "I just love her so much, She is the cutest baby ever, and today Lizzy even told me she is the cutest baby now and will be the cutest big person when she grows up." Bree or BreeBree as Lizzy likes to call her, was really an angel baby for the first 4 months. Just happy and content unless she was tired or hungry, but just so sweet and really slept lots, even sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and just better and better till she now sleeps about 12 hours a night and I LOVE IT! This month finally I have slept in my bed all night for more than one night in a row, between the 3 kids someone was always waking up for some reason. But the last few weeks have actually gone pretty good. At 4 months Bree started teething and now has 2 teeth, she is still a great baby, but I did have to take the angel baby title away because she got a bit fussier and more needy. So, thankfully she has been a great baby, because I figured three would be hard, but I had no idea. It has been incredibly hard. Just trying to divide my time and take care of physical needs has been hard, but adding all the whining and complaining is almost enough to due me in. Lizzy and Caleb can be the best of friends, but both are very strong willed, so they also fight and complain a ton. "Its not fair", "She or He is copying me" are phrases we have banned in our house, but still heard quite often. We are learning a lot as parents and some areas making progress and some not. We really feel like we have great kids and we know what they are capable of, especially Lizzy being so sweet and helpful when she wants, but it makes it that much harder when she is not cause I know what she can do. Probably how our Father in Heaven feels about us and our free agency. Being a mom is so rewarding and so exhausting, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel so blessed to have my three kids and just marvel at the things they say and do. Caleb has totally caught up with his talking and it is so fun to hear the things he is seeing and what he thinks of it. Although if I don't understand something, he usually gets pretty upset that I can't figure it out:)

All in all Life is BUSY BUSY BUSY, but I feel so blessed to have my children and a loving and patient husband. I am so thankful for my Savior and to have the restored gospel in my life. I truly feel blessed and amazed at all the things HE continues to bless  my family and I with.

Aubree's BIRTH Day and story

Okay... here is the birth story if you wish to hear it:

A week and a half before my due date, June14, my Dr checked me and found I was dilated to a 3 and 90% effaced and told me he didn't expect me to make my visit the following week. I had been mentally preparing to be late, so went home and kind of freaked out that I wasn't ready. But after fearing each braxton hicks or each little movement was me going into labor, and each day passing without a baby. I started to give up on the baby being early idea and went back to my Dr for my appointment the following week where he told me he would bet money I would be in labor within a few days. But I hadn't dilated any more since the previous week and decided he had no idea and was just talking. So a few more days passed, my parents came down friday night and we all went swimming on Saturday. I was feeling actually pretty good and getting set on the idea of the baby coming later, but after having  a relaxing Sabbath day and celebrating my parents anniversary I woke Monday morning with contractions. I woke up about 4:30am to fairly consistent contractions. Unsure if I should rush to the hospital. (Because Caleb came so quickly and I was already dilated to a 3 the Dr. had told me to not stay home very long once contractions started.) But they were not very strong and no closer than 10 mins apart. Finally by the time CJ got up at 6:30, they were actually getting further apart and still not very strong. So I told him to go to work, but stay close in case he needed to meet me at the hospital. But by the time I got up and showered they almost stopped and were only maybe every hour or so. For a few hours in the morning, but was feeling tired and not great. So we stayed home and kids played in the backyard. I had off and on contractions but never too consistant or too strong. Finally about 3:00pm I went in to my room to have CJ time my contractions, and they started coming more like 10-15 mins apart. Which normally wouldn't be close enough for me to go to hospital, but since I had already been dilated pretty far and the drive was 25 mins to hospital I didn't want to wait too long. I was feeling pretty worn out and crummy, so I decided we should probably just drive over there. If they stopped again we could go out to dinner, but at least I'd be closer if I needed to check in. So about 4:30pm we started driving over and as soon as we left they started coming every 3-4 mins apart. So we went to hospital and checked in and by the time I was checked I was dilated to a 8 and they started getting ready for the baby to come, about 5:20pm.

I didn't want an epidural going into it, and I didn't have time to get one anyway, but I will say it was very painful and I don't think I will do that again ever! I think I was already so tired from being in labor all day and the pain was so intense I barely made it through. But then again what choice do you have? My nurse was great and helped me try some different positions which probably helped, but at that point everything just hurt, and I just wanted to give up and cry. But luckily it wasn't too long and at 6:27pm after just a couple pushes our BABY GIRL was born. We kept it a surprise as to the gender of the baby, but I'll have to admit at that point all I wanted was A Baby out! Lizzy had also convinced all of us it would be a girl and that's kind of what I felt I was having, so if it had been a boy I think I would have been really shocked. We were just so happy to have a baby and all her fingers and toes and everything there. She was just beautiful and the biggest surprise was alot of dark brown hair.(Since our other two kids were blonde haired) She was beautiful, 8 lbs 8 oz and 20 1/2 inches. Brown hair, and right now some dark blue/gray eyes.

We didn't have a name picked out so, we went down our list that night and thought it would be either Sara or Naomi, but couldn't decide so thought we'd sleep on it. However, I didn't sleep much, but I did enjoy looking over at my angel baby and amazed how calm and happy she was. Either she slept or layed awake just looking around. I couldn't belive how good she was. In the morning we both agreed we didn't like those names for her and wanted Bree, but thought we should either name her Breanna or Aubree. We finally decided we liked Aubree best and then had to figure out how we wanted to spell it, which took a while to ponder and debate, but CJ didn't want Aubrie, and I didn't want Aubrey, so we looked up spellings on his phone and found Aubree, and decided we liked that best for her.

Its really cool looking back and seeing how the Lord blessed us in ways that may seem little to others but were real answers to prayers we had.  

The saturday before we enjoyed a nice day swimming!

Aubree Gail Fellars born June 25, 2012. 6:27pm and weighed 8lbs 8 oz, 20 1/2in.

Our happy new family

A very happy Lizzy, to have a baby sister!

My newest addiction!

Lizzy and Caleb just can't get enough of Bree, and smoother her with kisses and love!

Grandma and Grandpa Dalton were here and helped us celebrate the 4th of July with flag shirts!

Okay, now I have to figure out how to survive three kids. I'm excited but very nervous and not sure how to now split time between three adorable but very needy (of my time) kids.

Spring break and more

We decided we would take a birthday, early anniversary getaway and baby moon all at once. CJ's Brother and wife were kind enough to watch our kids for 2 nights, so we could escape for some time together. It was great! We just went to Newport Beach, about an hour north. CJ's mom gave us a free night at the Marriott and so we took it and ran. Well actually we biked all along Newport beach coastline. I was pretty proud that I could bike while 6 months pregnant, without too much trouble. We also ate out at Dukes, probably our most expensive meal ever. It was good, but really not worth it:). We relaxed and slept in. And just enjoyed the beautiful area.

CJ's brother Tim and family came to visit the last week in march. We always love to see them and enjoyed having them stay with us for a few nights. The picture of Caleb and his cousin Anya was just too precious. Caleb actually does love his princess dresses and dressing up. But who couldn't resist the ability to 'twirl!' He actually loves to be a "pretty princess," which I don't suppose will last and he is so cute and innocent doing it, (why shouldn't boys be able too)  I haven't fought it, but sometimes when others laugh at him, he does get embarrassed. and I feel bad for him not really understanding what they are laughing at. (Maybe I should explain to him)

For Lizzy's spring Break we drove up to my parents new house in Greeley Hills, Ca. I previously thought they had lived in the middle of nowhere in Patterson, but they proved me wrong. Now they do, but it is a beautiful mountain community and a beautiful new home there, but quaint and very peaceful. They are only about an hour outside Yosemite, so we took the day and went to Yosemite Valley. It was gorgeous, A bit too much walking for me in one day, but that is only cause we didn't know how to use the free bus system till too late. We loved our stay there. Just being with them is wonderful, but "camping" with modern conveniences was great. We joked about camping the whole time.

Tim and Kirsten joined up and went to Yosemite with us. Abraham, Caleb, Lizzy, and Anya had lots of fun together.

That weekend also happened to be General Conference and Caleb's 3rd Birthday. We were inside most the day listening to conference over the internet, and it snowed for us san diegans. Not quite enough to sled, but enough to throw and build a little snowman. Also kept us inside most the day. So we decided to make have our own family birthday party, with games, presents, and a homemade ice cream cake that was delicious. We played pin the heart on Caleb, and a ball toss. The kids loved it and we had a great time!

CJ, and the kids with their snowman, and our snow clothes!

I think my dad has always dreamed of living in the mountains, so with him retiring this year they decided to give it a try. I was hoping they'd brave the San Diego city life, but I think they like a slow pace lifestyle more. So here is my parents new mountain house. It was just beautiful and we loved being there.

Finally just a picture to show me at just starting my 7 month mark. This pregnancy has definitely been harder then the other two, but I'm sure the reward will be great. A LOT of work, but worth it right. We are so excited to have another child, but also terrified. More often than not CJ and I look at each other and say three. Three is good! Our kids are so fun, but pushing their parents to their limits. This pregnancy has just confirmed I don't want to do it again, so unless there is divine intervention at a later time, We are looking to be a happy family of 5! I love my kids and my husband so much and just grateful they put up with me too. Lizzy has just really been growing in her learning this year with Spanish, reading, and especially math. She just decided the other day she wanted to learn multiplication, so reluctantly I taught her and she totally got it and now does it for fun! Caleb's language has improved a ton and now discovering all kinds of ways to talk and express himself. He is a homebody and usually never wants to leave, (which is so opposite of Lizzy) But he is doing lots better with playing with others. It is so fun to watch him grow up. I am truly blessed.

Gratitude and kids!

I've really been trying lately to have a good attitude and look for the good around me rather than the negative. I'm not perfect, but I'll have to say I've really been able to enjoy my kids more and see the good around me rather than focusing on the frustrating and things I can't control. My kids are growing up so fast, and I'm trying to enjoy as much as possible.


So Lizzy has been in school all day four times a week, which has given me a lot of time alone with Caleb. I've really been able to focus on him and see his growth. He has become my little bud and we spend just about every waking moment together. He will be 3 in March and I can see his little personality really starting to develop. He is quite the funny guy. Always trying to get a laugh. Yesterday I started playing 'this little piggy' and he would grab his little pinky toe before i could and hold it, so I couldn't say. 'all the way home and tickle him.' He just thought this was so funny.
He also loves to wrestle and tackle anyone willing and sometimes not willing to play. His favorite game is "Roarrrrrr." Which CJ can't walk in the door without him asking, "Daddy Roarrrrrr?" over and over till CJ gives in. Caleb just loves to run around the house, get tickled and laugh. Caleb is also my little snuggler. He loves to come up and hug me or kiss me. And it of course just melts me, he is so sweet and loving. Caleb will only wear short sleeve shirts and shorts, which he also calls babies. (basically 'baby' =small or short and 'wow'=lots or long) He is a bit behind on talking and language skills, but it is pretty clever how he has learned to get his point across. He used to be afraid to even try saying new words, but we have been practicing lots and working on just trying which I think has really helped and he is picking up new words all the time. Not real fast, but he will get there. I thought for a while he would learn to say Lizzy's name or at least some version of it, but he never did till recently he now calls her, "Honey." (of course that is my pet name for her or anyone in my house, but now it has become her name, because if i use it for Caleb or Daddy, Caleb says,"honey, no. then daddy or me". Its cute to here him yell out at the park or store, honey for lizzy. Or honey school?
Now of course he is far from a perfect angel, but I'm focusing on the good right now :). Lizzy actually adores him to and they often have their hug and kiss moments, but she often says, "Mom I really want a sister, Cause Caleb tackles or hits too much." Which remindes me Caleb either thinks he has a baby in his tummy or that his tummy is called a baby, (which I'm thinking the latter is correct). He is constantly pointing to my tummy and saying, "baby?" and I say, "yes" he then says "me too." But the other day his friend hit him in the tummy and, he started crying and said, "ow baby." Then a couple days ago he was feeling sick and said,"baby hurt" pointing to his tummy. He is always so clever and cute. Each night as he goes to bed, after asking for anything and everything when he has finally given into the fact he is going to bed he finally will yell from his bed, "Night night mommy," then I have to answer. Followed by "Night night Daddy," and CJ has to answer. If one of us doesn't he has to continually repeat this until we do. Caleb is definitely strong opinionated, and has his mind set in many things. Like when we drive somewhere he usually has an opinion about which way he wants me to turn. Especially when we leave home he knows his cousin Mack (really Max) lives to the left, but mostly we go right to town, but he usually yells and points to Mack's house. Or if we stop at a light, He yells, "GO." Which they I've had to explain red light or green light to him. But my favorite lately has been, "okay." He says it in such a cute little way and so often. He could easily use no, but he h as choose lately to be fairly cooperative and if I ask him to get something or do something he often responds with, "okay mommy." (Which is my dream phrase, especially after Lizzy. She for many many years has been adamant about having it her way in her terms, but Caleb will just say okay and everytime it shocks me.) So I've decided lately Caleb is very strong willed and has to be to hold up to his sister, but then he has a sweet cooperative side that mommy just loves and adores. Caleb also

Now Lizzy just turned 6 in December. Its been a really interesting ride with Lizzy. Of course i've enjoyed her and she has been sweet in her own way, but I have to admit 2 was terrible, and 3 and 4 were whatever is worse than terrible. Then 5 was maybe slightly better than 4, but not a lot. And FINALLY 6, so far has been amazing. She has just really blossomed in attitude and love. I just have enjoyed the last couple months of her being so helpful, fun, loving. She is able to play with Caleb and they can get along so well. Probably one of the most rewarding things as a mom is to see your kids like and play together, as well as learning new things. Especially things in a gospel sense. Lizzy has the most genuine and sweet prayers. She gets this angelic voice and talks about how thankful she is for the beautiful earth Jesus gave us, and that her family can be together forever. It is so sweet and so rewarding to see her pray. Lizzy has a love for other people to, she is often looking for things to do or make for someone else. She LOVES crafts and making things for her friends and parents. Lizzy also loves gifts. Getting just about anything from a sticker, something from the treasure box at school or from a doctor, or even a picture or letter from a friend makes her smile and shine so big. (We say her love language is gift giving) But i think the cool thing that says a lot about her is not only does he love to get things, she also loves to give. She is always wanting to make pictures and stuff for her cousins or friends. Just the other day she came to me with four quarters and wanted to give them to her twin cousins. Even though she has a huge love for getting stuff, she knows she feels good and wants to make other people happy also. I could not be getting through this pregnancy without her. She has been so much more mature, hardly any fits and she is willing to give into make Caleb happy or play with him. (of course they also fight like any siblings, but she has really grown up and been able to reason so much more) I've been able to talk to her and explain things on a more grown up level. She is in a Spanish Immersion program at school and while its got to be hard, she has not complained at all and is really starting to understand some things. Its so cool to see her wanting to learn and grasping new concepts. Although she will tell you she does hate math.

I love both my kids so much and so grateful when I get to spend time with them and see them smile, laugh, and getting along. They teach me a lot about enjoying simple things and life. While there are always things to do and get done, I'm grateful for those times I can watch them and be grateful they are my kids. It will be interesting and exciting to see what the next one brings.

Ammonia, Hospital visit, and Pregnant!

As I mentioned in the last post I have not been feeling well, yes I'm pregnant! I have been far sicker with this one then my other two and its been very hard to go. The nausea started the end of October, so I figured I was pretty far along to be feeling so crummy, but finally got into the doctor and he said 6 weeks. I swore I had to be 8- 10 by that time. AHH. So I thought maybe I'd get over it sooner since it started so early, but no. I'm now close to 10 weeks and still sick. I do admit a tad better and I got some medicine to control the nausea, but man its been no fun. But in the middle of all the sick fun, Caleb had a fever for over a week, so I finally took him in to the doctor to have him checked out. Then did x-rays and strep test to show he had walking ammonia. Round of antiboiotics and he is better now well mostly, He is also two and constantly touching things, picking his nose, and thus usually has some sort of cold or bug. Its been a long few months. I used to prize myself on how healthy we were, but after the last 4 months, we have definitely been more sick than not, and that doesn't even count pregnant sick for me. I guess with Kindergarten and Kids club germs are bound to come.
So i took Caleb in on a thursday for the ammonia, then lizzy was up for 3 nights in a row, complaining her tummy hurt and needed to be rubbed, or she had vaginal itching that was very uncomfortable. But during the day she was totally fine, no complaining or anything. But as soon as night came she'd start complaining again. So monday I went to the dr for me during the day and spend 2 hours there, and it was monday night we called and took her to urgent care at 7pm when it was starting again. They admitted her and took xrays and urine and blood samples. Which she was exhausted the whole time, she slept on the way over and in between doctors coming in, on the exam table or on my lap. It was sad. Finally just after 9pm they told us they were admitting her to the hospital. 'What!' I did not expect that outcome, but because she is on the medication she is for her arthritis she is at a high risk for not being able to fight infections. But the hospital (Kaiser) was down in san diego, so we had to drive 20 mins north to my house first, cause i had forgotted her glasses and new she would not be happy in the morning without them. Then we drove the 40 mins south to the hosptial. Finally getting there about 11pm. Then the real torture began. She again slept the whole way there, so I had to wake her, carry her the whole time through the hospital, luckily she is pretty light. Then they put an IV in which was horrible. I mean Lizzy is awesome with shots and gets bloodwork every 6 weeks, but she was not happy about the IV, (which i know from having a baby, i hated that thing) then it kept randomly hurting her hand the whole next day. But the really bad part was the catheter. She had suspicious urine from her urine test, but they needed to get a 'clean' sample to see if it was infected on the inside. It is soo hard to watch your child go through so much pain, Of course I cried, but I'm pregnant (I don't think that mattered) Actually I felt very blessed through the whole ordeal that I did handle it so well while being so sick. But adrenalene kicks in for your kids. Finally we got back to our room and Lizzy was wide awake. So she watched a movie while I tried to sleep on the most uncomfortable pull out chair, the springs were like rocks. Finally after a couple hours I got on the end of Lizzy's bed and slept in a ball the rest the morning. Till she woke up at 6 am ready for something new. The longest and shortest night sleep ever. All because I thought I couldn't go through another sleepless night at home with her complaining her tummy hurt. That was a sleepless night. So they thought it was either ammonia, a urinary tract infection or appendix. She didn't quite have all the symptoms of one, but fairly certain one of the first two. It would take a few days to get the results of the tests to know, but antibiotics would heal both those. So they started her on two strong rounds and sent us home after lunch. I wondered if it was really worth all that, or was the hospital really necessary, but the next day Lizzy asked, "how did they make my tummy better so fast." I figured it was all worth it. And it may have gotten worse and she wouldn't have been able to fight it on her own. So we came home and I got a cold, and fever for the next few days and felt completlely worn out and miserable. I had a great friend bring me dinner and watch Caleb, so I could get some rest. It took a few days to recover and we are doing much better. Lizzy and Caleb are back to normal. CJ has been a huge support in helping and taking the kids when he can, and I am hoping to continue to feel better soon.

A Thankful Thanksgiving!

Well I was trying to decide if iIwanted to keep going with my blog, so I've been procrasinating writing, but since I'm not keeping any other records I decided iId better keep up the blog (somewhat). Reading that last post reminded me about Lizzy's determination. She has been practicing lots of things lately until she got it. It is great to see her work so hard for something and then achieve it. For instance, She really wanted to snap, so she just kept practicing till she got it. Same with tying her shoes, and whistling. Its amazing to see her grow up, and doing new things. She has been a challenge to say the least, but what an amazing blessing she is. She is so sweet and innocent in so many ways, with a determination that she will not loose or give in, that often drives me crazy but I hope will help her throughout her life.
She made my Thankgiving for me in that i have not been feeling well (i'll comment on that later)and my house has been lets say a disaster. So Lizzy took it apon herself to clean the whole family room up. Then I showed so much gratitude for that she decided to go clean the guest room and her bedroom up. Then I went to shower and she got in the shower and got herself dressed all by herself with out me nagging at all. I got out and was just overjoyed for all she did. She totally changed my whole day. I had to go pick up some stuff for the food i was making, so while I was gone I thought i want to do something for my family to show them my love and gratitude on Thanksgiving. So I got Lizzy a little My little pony (which if you know Lizzy her love language is gift giving) and I got CJ some reese's pb cups, and Caleb we had a hand me down car race track from a cousin we hadn't given him yet that we gave him. ( But finally on my way home I remembered I should have got him a 'nak' cause that is what he asks for every 10 mins. (snack) But the whole reason behind it was that Lizzy really put me in a more thankful mode and I really enjoyed the rest the day cause instead of just feeling crummy I was able to focus on showing my family how thankful I was for them.