Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Making the Best of it...

So, i've kind of been having a hard time, perhaps a mild depression (not real serious) but i could not get out of having negative feeling, thoughts, or just plain feeling unappreciated and like i couldn't accomplish anything. I just felt like i couldn't smile or laugh. (I know, like my mom always tells me if nothing else gets done, the laundry will wait, the house cleaning will still be there its most important to care for my kids.) But once those feelings come, they are hard to get rid of without giving in to woe is me. Of course i love my kids to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, but Lizzy has been going through another tantrum spell, mostly in the middle of the night, so i have a serious lack of sleep. My usual angel baby has been sick with a bad chest cold and I need my angel baby to keep me sane. He has wanted to be held constantly, hasn't slept well, another contribute to my sleep deprivation. (actually it is 5 in the morning and i am up with him cause he won't sleep....see blog title) So I finally had enough and had my breaking point, prayed, went to the temple and then watching Monk of all things and the character Randy, one of the cops, was talking about an epiphany he had when he saw a bumper sticker that read," Happiness is a Choice" (of course i've heard this idea before, but I know Heavenly Father is guiding us and knows when we need to hear things again) It just hit me hard, So with praying to have a desire to change and trying to make that choice everyday, or 10 times a day, i feel i am doing much better. Happiness is a Choice and its not always easy with everyday life, when i look at my house everyday and see a TON of things to fix, clean, organize, and attend to. Or when my kids are screaming, whining, complaining, crying(and i don't know what to do to help). Or when my hubby is gone long hours, and its not easy I can still be happy, and Smile. And here are some pics from the month:

So hard to believe these to cuties are anything but that!Lizzy with her cousins- Always having a good time together.

We like to call them the OREO!

My little flower princess for Halloween, actually turned into a butterfly princess, (i think cause she didn't want to hold the flower.

Lizzy even won the cupcake in the cake walk at our ward Halloween party. She LOVES frosting.Oh and her mom won best chili! (sorry don't ask for the recipe, i've been swore to secrecy with it- unless you beg then i may give in)
Mom- a hawaiian dancer, of something, its what i had and Caleb my little all-star baseball player. Notice his glove, its a teething ring. I actually lost this for a couple weeks before Halloween and was so sad, i have to admit i prayed where to find it, i didn't think i was gonna find it and finally a few hours before the party i 'remembered' to look in the pool bag...there it was.
My mom is the greatest, i love her visits, she is so good with my kiddos, Here she is dancing with Lizzy. We even had a great girls trip (my mom, sister, and I) to Laguna Beach for the night. It was awesome, but another post, and i need to get pics from my mom!
Finally my two sweet (when they want) kids, we often sit outside and enjoy the nice San diegan weather. It is a blessing i admit, i hate to be cold. And this pic was october, but even last night, nov, it was so nice, i cut some rose bushes and the kids played. the only crazy thing is it drops 20 degrees within days or sometimes over night. it is a little hard to acclimate to but, i'll take it over all you people out there freezing in snow and wind.

Alright, 3 hours later, Lizzy bumping the keyboard and turning my screen off, thank goodness for autosave, and i finished this post, Caleb still has something going on, i keep expecting teeth, but we'll see. When Caleb gets upset, Lizzy is usually close behind. I admit i lost it again this morning, so it is obviously a continual battle, but anything worth having is worth working for right! HAPPINESS and DETERMINATION!

Hope you are all well, I know we all have struggles and issues we usually hide from the world, but sometimes it helps to talk or write it out. So Thanks to my hubby for letting me talk it out with him and Thanks to you that read this long post for your support. I know i'm not the best and keeping up with all you friends and family out there, but i cherish our friendships and the times we do and have spent together. They make Happy Memories for me! Thanks And thanks to a loving Father in Heaven that knows me and is providing comfort for me, and a beautiful knowledge of the importance of temples, making good choices, and the perspective the gospel gives me about this life and the life to come. With all these things I will make it and I WILL be Happy!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Just one of those posts....

I couldn't figure out how to copy and paste, (i know -but it wasn't working) so read the last 2 paragraphs first)

One of the many up sides of living in san diego is we wear coats for fun and dressing up, notice the shorts she is wearing! She just got this hand me down coat from her cousin, believe me i would not invest in something this warm, although it is adorable!

Here is my happy guy. I can just about always count on Caleb to be my happy camper. If he does cry, Lizzy will tell me, "You only have one happy camper right now"refering to her of course, it is something i have told her many times, when she is good, i'll say thanks for being a happy camper. and she often uses it on caleb. But it is not often becasue he is sooooooo fun, always on the verge of a smile. He is willing to anyone that looks his way, to give them a unforgetable grin.
Lizzy has also mellowed out a TON lately and been such a great helper, fun to be with, and so clever. i'm continually amazed at her comments and the things she remembers. She went swimming with her dad and aunt Ally the other day and as she was getting in the pool, said "hey look, i'm grandma Mary" and started moving her arms and legs like she was doing water aerobics as her grandma does. It was so random, but clever of her. they couldn't stop laughing. She got her cousins to join in too. She has definitely been challenging, but also so rewarding to hear her laugh and talk so grown up.
i had to take this pic of CJ and Caleb, they looked so sharp in their sunday best! Caleb just loves his daddy and laughs so hard when Cj makes faces and tickles him. And CJ just loves that they can already watch football (or whatever sport is on) together.
So the up side to having a motivated hubby is he gets things done. The down side is i get holes in my ceiling. I am not complaining at all, over the last few months, Cj has worked his magic and with trading services has gotten me all over head lighting in our used to be very dark house, as well as granite countertops in my kitchen and bathrooms, crown molding, and a whole house ceiling fan. (the crown molding and fan was all CJ, as the pictures show) He researched and figured out how to cut a hole in the ceiling and guess what. The roof is still in tack. We were just a tad nervous, but it all worked out! THe fan is designed to suck in the cool night air, that san diego so often has and blow out the hot air through the attic. The good news is, it works great, the bad news is we haven't needed it the last few weeks cause its been so cold. But i hear its supposed to warm again, so we'll see.
He would probably prefer to not have this pic up, but i think it is adorable!
Just one of those priceless photos. Lizzy on the way home from beach, fell asleep, hat and all!

Well its just been a while so i decided i'd suck it up and write. For some journal writing or blogging is a hobby and fun, but for me it is a chore. i guess i mostly don't like the time it takes to post. i somehow feel like i am wasting time and should be doing something else. or perhaps just go to bed, so i can make it through the next day. Anyhow this is probably why i don't post much, but since i don't keep a journal either, i figure i better do some writing somewhere! So here it is:

The last few months have had there ups and downs,but mostly just normal life stuff. A HUGE up is that Lizzy's joints are looking amazing. She was crawling the other day and i couldn't believe the difference and the range of motion she has now. she went from like a 45 degree to 90. She over all just seems happier, which could be the medicine itself, but i think more likely, it is because she doesn't have discomfort like she used to.
The down is that she just went to the eye dr. and now has to wear a patch for 2 hours a day. but after the first day battle, she has done amazing, doesn't even complain. she is amazing and such a strong kid.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Our summer fun... (part 1)

Donnie and Kira's Wedding!

We are so excited for Donnie and Kira, Lizzy had been asking all summer when was the wedding, mostly cause she knew she got to wear a pretty green dress and she couldn't wait. The day started out a little rough for us, Lizzy throwing tantrums all the way to the temple, and during pictures. But it was a beautiful day and lots of fun to see family! The best part (besides of course the sealing) i have to admit was the end of the reception when the dancing got going. All the nieces and nephews had the dance bug. I saw some of the best moves. I was impressed by all the moves, but just amazed how the body just takes over when the music turns on. Lizzy was coming up with some of the funniest moves. i'll try to post a video, but we'll see.

Lizzy with cousin Cami waiting outside the temple

All and All a great weekend to celebrate Donnie and Kira. It was so much fun seeing all the family as well as getting to know Kira's side. I especially was impressed with the dance her brothers put on at the reception!

Where to find the time.....

I really have a bloggin mindset, cause i constantly go through the day and think oh i could say this or post that, but then when i comes down to it....I usually decide to sleep, when i get a chance, However i know i sometimes need to sacrifice for the good of my journal and trying to remember everything that goes on in my life...especially with my sweet kiddos. I just wish i was better, but i've never liked journal writing, so its another thing i do cause i know i should.

Luckily, Caleb has slept through the night the last 3 nights. We moved him out of our room, which was a great thing to do, He seems to know i'm not right there and he is not going to get food, so he has slept great.

Lizzy continues to amaze and try my patience. But for all you moms of preschoolers out there. I read yesterday some comforting words, which said.. Enjoy this time when your preschooler thinks the world of you, wants to be with you all the time, do everything you do, because never again in your life are they going to want to be with you that much. And enjoy their excitement and energy to see, do, and try new things. They are learning so much so fast, don't get upset when they forget to do something you think they shouldn't. I know i've been loosing it with lizzy, but after reading some things from her viewpoint, i had a much better day today as i tried to enjoy some of those things i usually think are annoying.

Lizzy just loves Caleb and is really very helpful, its funny to see her interact with him because it so often is things i do or say and she is trying to copy. Like the other day she got up in his face and said, "Are you hungry? Cause i just want to eat you up!" Her version of something i probably say, like "you are so cute i'm gonna eat you up" We were sitting around at my brother in laws and she didn't think anyone was listening, but she said that and we all started laughing, although she was saying it very seriously cause she got very embarrassed and upset that we were laughing.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kid update

Wow looking at this picture is so crazy it was only 3 months ago. Caleb has been the best, my angel. He loves to sleep, eats well, and just happy, loves to smile and just look around. He is sleeping good at night with just one feeding usually around 3 or 4. His sister just adores him. So he went from this :

To this is 3 months. He is my big boy- 16lbs -96 percentile, and 25 1/2 inches-98 percentile
We keep telling liz she better not pick on him, cause he will be bigger than her soon, and be able to retaliate. (she doesn't listen)

He loves his swing, sometimes hours go by and he is still loving it!

Lizzy loves holding him and trying to get him to smile. Sometimes she gets upset when he doesn't smile at her. She calls him her best friend forever and says she is gonna keep him....i'm so glad

As for Lizzy, she hit her 4 month mark on the study (for her arthritis) this last week. She has improved drastically. She is looking so good. She has improved 100% in some areas, and no less than 75% in others. So we are still in the study, but it remains blinded, which is good for us right now. She most likely has been on only the one drug(methotrexate) but has responded very well to it, and we don't have to go on the steroid. She has been a trooper through it all, and the best investment we made was 'hello kitty' bandaids. So we move on, and hope she out grows it someday, but at least it seems to be getting under control.

showing off 'hello kitty'

Before, feb 2009, her left knee is much bigger here, as well as her wrists.
today...her knees look normal, kind of hard to tell in pictures, but we are excited about the improvement.

And a few pics for the road.......

Following in the Lord's way

As a parent I often worry about this horrible world my kids have to grow up in. I know it was bad as i was growing up and pretty sure that was nothing to what my kids will have to deal with. I try not to let this get me down, but sometimes it is hard to not wonder if my kids are going to be able to choose the right, when there is soooooooooo much wrong around them. I feel very lucky to have made it through as well as i did, and be strong in my faith and true to the gospel. I just hope and pray that ALL my kids will do the same. I take comfort in the Prophets counsel to fortify our homes. To make them gospel centered, with scripture study, prayer, family home evening, going to church each week, and teaching the gospel in our home. We are by no means perfect, and we have to always work on it, but I want to do all i can to protect my family.

Lizzy has a great Love for the temple, she was so excited to go for her primary activity. She loves driving by on the freeway and says it is her temple! (she is in the far right in the blue dress)

She got a pamphlet, and we caught her reading on the way home. She learned that Grandma and Grandpa Daltons temple (Oakland, Ca.) was on the front as well as her temple (san diego) She carried this pamphlet around for days

Family Home Evening, Lizzy has been into crafts, so she wanted to make necklaces and bracelets with hearts. What a great idea Liz! So this is us showing them off.

We have a long road ahead, but these types of moments give me hope. Good luck with your families too!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

2 months flying by

I knew once Caleb came time would fly, and it has. We have been very busy with feeding and normal baby stuff, but also have had a couple adventures out. When Caleb was 4 weeks i decided to meet my parents at Pismo beach and camp (in a nice trailer, so no dirt and bugs we couldn't get a way from. It was awesome.) We walked the pier and roasted marshmallows, did little nature hikes, and saw the biggest frog I've ever seen.
A shot of Pismo Beach and me, It was beautiful and a lot like a Florida coast beach, with long flat sand forever, cars driving on the beach, and a lagoon inland a tad. The water was colder though.

My parents were great with taking lizzy for walks and climbing trees, so i could get a nap or rest here and there.
There were these giant geese that roamed the campground. Very loud, but luckily no attacking of small children, Lizzy loved to chase them off.

A beautiful, warm, and exciting day at the beach, okay not warm, it was very windy and my dad found warmth within.

Caleb's perch. He pretty much lived on the couch, but he was happy as could be. The campground was right on a lagoon, and covered from the windy beaches by trees, which was nice, but resulted in lots of mesquitos, so caleb stayed in doors most the time and we sprayed off on the rest of us, and surprisingly came away with no bites.
Lizzy and Caleb showing off for the camera
Enjoying the outdoors! WE love camping with grandma and grandpa.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Caleb's baby blessing

It was a little early, but worked out to have His blessing on April 26. In our church babies are given a name and blessing, and this was Caleb's day. It was a sunny, but very windy day. Lots of family and friends joined us. Thanks to all who came and traveled to do so.

Our happy little guy in his blessing outfit.

Our friends that came, the Johnstons (sorry we missed a pic with the Hansens, but thanks for coming, and Emily for trying too!)
The Uncles and Great Uncles who blessed Caleb with Dad.
All the family that could make the blessing. To all that couldn't we missed you.
Our wind blown family pic with Grandma Mary.
It was a beautiful sabbath day and a beautiful blessing Caleb will always have. Sure grateful for the gospel and the peace and comfort it brings in just a horrible and unstable world around us.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Easter Fun and more

okay i started this post a while ago and finally getting around to finishing

Okay so we are trying to get back in the swing of things around here. I thought it would be fun to enjoy easter celebrations and especially wanted Lizzy to know we hadn't forgot about her and she deserves to enjoy holidays!. So we painted eggs, crashed our old wards easter egg hunt, even though there were as always tons of kids and lizzy didn't even get one egg on the hunt. But her good friend Emma came to her rescue and shared some 'treats' with her, because that is the only thing she cares about. Then we did an easter egg hunt at home! i think overall we had a nice weekend, and even got my sister-in-law to take some pics of my kiddos! Thanks Brookie! and i know trying to get a 3 yr old and newborn to look at the same time let alone smile or have eyes open is extremely challenging.